Even more Sufjan...

So apparently it's been almost two years since my last Sufjan Stevens post which majorly sucks. Why? Well it's such a misrepresentation of us. Stevens and I. But I guess that's what I get for not blogging for nearly a year right?

It looks like we've got some catching up to do and Stevens is the best place to start. I love him. No joke, no lie. Not as a person, because I don't know him, but musically? The love runs deep. I think I can go as far as saying he's my favourite musician of all time. (What I really mean is he's my favourite non-european*, white male musician of all time LOL).

I found myself singing a line from this song today. I sing this line alot because it's one of those lines. I feel them in the base of my spine. Somehow a melody, lyric, tone and harmony combine and make me...stop. And feel. I'm sure i've mentioned the type before. It happens alot with Stevens. In fact the whole song is one of those. For me anyway.

"I still have the things you gave,

Four anointing oils the paper weight you made"

So I was feeling kinda sombre, but not overly so. Sang the line and the wave of love that I feel for all things Sufjan** washed over me and I just felt so complete. And serene and warm and understood and all of those things that I can't describe so I decided to share this vid.

I love you for reading this,
Rella x

P.S: No but really? "Did you cut your hands on me? Are my edges sharp? Am I a pest to feed?" Or even- "And if it pleases you to leave me, just go. Stopping you would stifle your enchanting ghost" Are you trying to make me love you more?? Well you succeeded Stevens. You succeeded!!

*That way I can still claim Damien Rice as well!
**excluding the Age of Adz album which I refuse to talk about.

Water Chestnuts? Why you so creepy? Yeah I'm talking to you!

This one is for you K, you're always asking when a new post will be up and I appreciate the love you have for my blog. It makes me feel all warm inside. Like a microwave :)

Oh a few nights ago those of you who are subscribed by email woulda been sent a post that wasn't finished. What had happened was, I was tired, was writing this post, as I continued it was making less and less sense and I couldn't be bothered to make it make any sense, especially because the whole thing seemed funnier in my head (as most things do) so I went to click save put instead clicked publish. *face palm*. Now I never knew that it even got sent out because I converted it into a draft but O told me she saw it so hence this here explanation...

Now onto todays post. It's a real one. I promise :)

Ok. So I've mentioned before that I may be kinda strange when it comes to food. It's not that I don't like food. I loves me some food. It's just that sometimes, on occasion, my overactive imagination interferes with my food experience.

I thought I had all the foods that I didn't like down to a T. WRONG. The list just gets longer and longer. A couple of days ago I got a takeaway. I loves me some Chinese right, so I'm sitting tucking in to these sweet chilli chicken noodles *drool* and all of a sudden I hear this CRUNCHHHH sound and i'm like "WHAT THE HECK???" I try not to freak out. I look up the ingredionies to this meal on the leaflet: Chicken (me likes), Noodles (me likes), blah blah blah, Crunchy Water Chestnuts (IT'S YOU!).

Now see, I've heard of water chestnuts before. One day I was googling my love (Chestnuts) and I kept on seeing 'not to be confused with water chestnuts which are completely different'. Completely different is an understatement. Water chestnuts are sooooo creepy. I don't know how else to describe them (and creepy is one of my new fav words lol).

It's not the crunch that makes it creepy. I like crunchy food. Heck I love Crunchy Nut. The problem is how it crunches. I tried to suck it up. Tried to be a grownup and not let these creepy veggies spoil my meal. So I take another bite. CRUNCHHHH!!!. I just couldn't do it. I once met somebody who was afraid of apples. Or to be more specific: the sound of somebody eating an apple. And I couldn't understand because I loves me some crunchy apples. But now I gets it. Imagine the sound of the crunchiest apple you've ever eaten and then cross breed that with the sound of nails against a chalkboard. That's what water chestnuts sound like. They're like the vegetable equivalent of polystyrene against polystyrene. In your mouth. Unaffected by your saliva. So damn creepy *shudders*

I hope this post finds you all well.
Rella x x

Untitled (Between You and Me)

There's poetry in...

the space between you and me...

When i'm far away and you draw me close

can you feel the spark in the midst of us?

And you place your lips beside my ear

and you whisper words for only me to hear

there is poetry... in the space between

There's poetry in...

the space between you and me...

When you call me just to hear my voice

there is beauty in the depth of your love

and you share yourself

and give me a piece

there is music in our intimacy

there is poetry...

in the space between you and me.

I write alot of 'sad' songs. Wait. I don't like that. I don't think they're sad. I write alot of songs when i'm sad. That's better. All of my songs are real, real feelings, real people it's all real. See, because I write alot of my songs when I'm sad you guys- the listeners- only see/hear one part of a story. Mainly the end. Or the argument. Or the disappointment.

A couple months ago I was lying in bed watching a tv show. Two people were on a first date: empty restaraunt, flowing conversation. They start talking about dancing, the guy brings out his iPod and starts playing some slow waltzy-type music. He stands up, offers his hand, pulls her in and they dance. Close. 

It sounds cheesy, but really it wasn't. So i'm watching them dance and I think about how nice it is to be that close to someone. Not just anyone but Someone. 

The day before this I had been thinking it's a shame that all my songs about Someone are so sad because alot of our relationship was really something special. So yeah, these two people are dancing and I start thinking about Someone and how close we were, and how much we wanted to be close to each other and how beautiful wanting to be close to somebody is. 

But how do you describe that? How do you sing that? I didn't want to say being close to you is beautiful because, well that's cheese galore. Same goes with 'magic'... I had this image of us standing together, no space between us, and I was trying to describe it, how much I loved that, and then I thought of poetry. "There's poetry in the space between you and me". I'm saying I love being close to you. It's beautiful to me.

"When I'm far away, and you draw me close, can you feel the spark, in the midst of us"

"And you place your lips beside my ear, and you whisper words for only me to hear..."

I don't know what to say about this song. I'm staring at my screen trying to find the words. I can't. I guess it's all there in the lyrics. I don't know what else I can say.

"There is music in our intimacy"

I'm glad I finally got to write a love song. Now you get to see another part of the story...

Rella x

Ego

I wanted to know you,

but you wouldn't let me in.

I told myself for preservation

Stop, stop trying.

You're no good for my ego.

You're no good for my ego.

But you intrigue me,

I want to be close to you

Just to see what our closeness would do

But it seems like you have no desire to

I wont force myself on you

I can't force myself on you

You're no good for my ego

You're no good for my ego

You're no good for my ego

I said, you're no good for my ego.

I'm a songwriter, but I don't see myself as one. See, I write for myself. I've said it over and over but I really mean it. I'm selfish when it comes to my music. I don't think of anybody else, "will people like it?", none of that comes to mind. I write because I have something on my mind and I need a way of expressing it.

That said, it's not always easy. You don't always get it right. Imagine an artist painting a portrait. They're trying to get the image before them down on the canvas as accurately as possible, but it's hard. Sometimes the eyes don't quite match, the nose is too broad, the colouring is off. It's the same with music. Sometimes I can't accurately portray what i'm feeling, or I don't know what i'm feeling accurately enough to portray it. And it's frustrating as heck. But every now and again you get a picasso moment. This was one of those times.

I'm in love with this song guys. It is such a perfect portrayal of everything I was feeling. I wasn't even in a writing mood when this came about. It was a few days ago, I was tidying up my room and randomly thought about the person this song is about. I wrote down the first few lines, frustrated with our 'relationship' and what it was doing to me. I thought about why I wanted to know them better, why anybody wants to know anybody better. It all came out on the page. And I thought that would be it. Usually when I write the lyrics first for a song; I can't get the guitar to fit. Normally it has to happen at the same time. But I pick up Dave, the music comes, the melody writes itself, and in a matter of minutes I have before me a perfect portrait. A melodic picture of my thoughts and my emotions.

It's times like these that makes me love being a musician.
With all the love in the world my dears,

Rella x